Warning: the following post is awesome. Every rant I post on Torment of the Week I try to make 100% Safe for Work. The same goes for this post. However, I feel inclined to warn you that I cannot make an accurate judgement of the workplace environment in everyone’s job. If you’re the receptionist at a Catholic Rectory, you might wanna read this later. THERE IS NO NUDITY, only some cartoon cleavage, but if that’s enough to make your boss get his/her ‘sexual harassment’ hammer, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

That being said I can begin.

I awoke this morning to see the comments on my latest comic and noticed a hot topic for a good section. Ironically, I feel I kinda skipped the head of the comments, which had nothing to do with the subject matter at hand, and stared directly at the chest of the comments.
hmmmm...

First, I would like to establish that Solstia has had no “enhancement” of any kind, and isn’t pregnant. She’s too poor for any of that. She also would not “stuff” a breastplate, as tissue would not cause metal to bulge in any real way. This is also not a confirmation that her boobs got bigger. In fact, I may have “overshot” it a bit, but that’s because in my original sketches of her character, they tends to obscure any sign of them if I go too small. It was a bit of a proportionality discrepancy.

In truth, Solstia is tougher to draw than Aza or Xandie. Aza and Xandie have a more normal blood elf female build as they are casters. What I tried to do with Solstia was give her a more muscular build while still maintaing her femininity. If you were lifting a 120 pound shield and swinging an 80 pound sword for years at a time all while wearing battle plate, I’d bet you’d have some musculature. By this point, she’s probably carrying twice her own weight in armor. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to draw her with a bit of a build.

The problem with this is that the proportions I’m used to are a bit off…and guys, I’m still learning to draw. I never had any formal art training or courses beyond finger painting in kindergarten. I actually refuse to do it because I feel the educational system tends to corrupt and destroy any dreams you have. I wanted whatever art I learned to be true to a genuine style that was intrinsic to my own practice. I do allow myself to be influenced by other artists, some of which I am honored to have even talked to and associate with. I am a big fan of Kelly Aarons at woweh.com and Kelly Meeks at daily-quests.com for their definition. Alternatively, I’m also a fan of the art of Mary Varn at npccomic.com and Arad Kedar at darklegacycomics.com for the comical simplicity. In truth, I’ve been looking for the perfect balance of detail and “comic strip” style.

BORED! WHERE ARE TEH BOOOBIES!?

Fine, fine, I will discuss art later. So anyway, I thought this was the end of the big boob discussion (double entendre). I moved on and checked my art page, as I have stuff to add to it….I ran into an unexpected reminder of Zerkest representing the best of his gender.

Zerkest: Boooooobs…..

What am I doing wrong? The “breastplate” didn’t seem too “extended” when I finished the art to begin with….but I think I see it now. My concern is that if I start to doubt the finished product of my art, will I ever get anything finished? At the same time, it does seem a bit “overdone.”

Hmmmm….what is it about the Blood Elf boobs that cause such a stir? Why is everyone critical, or..am I actually doing things to a unrealistic proportion…

Is it just me? I don’t even know if I have as bad of a problem as some of the official artwork…

Any more extremity in proportion, and this may as well be
Neo-Expressionist.

Okay, she’s well endowed…everywhere…to the point where it actually looks painful.

The comfort I got from this is that…I suppose it could be a lot worse.

“You know Aza, this isn’t really about boobs as much as it is about your embarrassment of drawing boobs imperfectly and being judged for it…it’s actually quite pubescent teen.”

The me in quotes is right. Not that I’m crazy or anything, but I sometimes have to remove myself from myself to convince myself that…wait I’m lost.

The point is…what is wrong with the boobs? Why aren’t they perfect? What is the perfect set? can people even agree on a common set? You know what…I’m not going to care anymore.

BOOB TALK IS OVER….or is it?

I thought it was, until I came across something on my daily trip to the Blizzard WoW forums. Someone posted the following wowhead.com comic…

This comic is the property of wowhead.com, I hope they don't mind me borrowing it to make a point..

and the discussion went the predictable route. Which race had the nicest boobs and I pretty much got the impression that Blood Elves were lacking. Unbelievable, BLIZZARD CAN’T EVEN GET IT RIGHT.

I have to admit. I find it kinda funny that this chain of events happened the way it did in retrospect. But, when I posted(toward the bottom), I was frustrated and a little tired of the boob talk. But being the strange attractors they are, of course I was compelled to fight for the beauty of the boob…as it is now.

It dawned on me that it doesn’t matter…something is always wrong with the female body, and that this discussion in forum is just an extension of somewhat unrealistic standards.

“NO AZA, YOU’VE BECOME A FEMI-NAZI!”

Nah, I haven’t. What I’m trying to get at is that people don’t know what they want. Blood elves are supposed to be perfectly beautiful, but people can’t even put together what is perfect. Boobs should not be critiqued for what they are not, but be praised for what they are. End of story.

Sure, I may have slipped into “Femi-nazi” mode for a second there..as I let loose my weapon (under the guise of satire) for women to use.

You flaunt your “epeaks” (as opposed to epeen) women should use in the gaming community.
As I mentioned in the post….you have to use it in a fashion that makes it appear that the “size of your boobs” is directly proportional to skill level.

I know all you ladies out there are like “What the hell does cup size have to do with how I play my class?”
The secret is…it doesn’t…at all. Note: this is also holds true when you compare a penis to skill.

Here’s the example I used. Get on Vent. Melt Face on DPS or heals. Proclaim over Vent “That’s ’cause I got D-Cups noobs, now go make me a sandwich.” Take note that you don’t have to actually have breasts of a certain size to pull this off, guys lie all the time about their..equivalent.

I know this probably sounds like a perverted joke, but there’s a real point behind it. The point is convergence of natural beauty and perceived beauty. At what point does the dream destroy the dreamer, or worse, destroy others?

My dream will not compromise me, just as I will not compromise my dream. I just want to bring a smile to people every so often and do so through the art of humor and optics. When I create something, it is its own entity. I need to respect it for what it is and not what I want it to be. I am only its humble guide, not its master. And after it has been brought into existence, it’s already changed me as well.

I know none of you guys really meant any criticism of Solstia’s boobs as harmful or a judgement of my art, truth is it may or may not be an unrefined part of my art. If it is, it’s on a LONG list of things that need to be refined.

This post was going to happen anyway, I just needed something to bring it all together. As I said before, sometimes events line up so well, you have to make your point using them, it’s destiny.

“AZZAA!! This post wasn’t awesome! You suck!”

Yeah I know…